She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
