The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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