Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
