And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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