Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
