Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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