She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
