I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
