I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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