While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
