Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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