Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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