She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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