We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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