Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
