Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i need some magic done to my vagina
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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