Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
