he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
