seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
