oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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