He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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