when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
