Will you blow on my dice?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
