I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
