I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
