I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
