dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
