i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
