I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
