If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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