Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
