Just mADE A PArabola og urine
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
