any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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