When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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