glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
