it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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