i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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