We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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