I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Congratulations! We have a period
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