I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
