I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
