Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
