I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i out mim tonsoeep
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