i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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