But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
