I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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