i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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