At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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