Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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