Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
