Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
