One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
