She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
