After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
